My Social Media Boundaries Experiment For Conscious Working and True Connection

Last week, I hit a mental health low.

2020 was a LOT of things for me, as it has been for all of us, in so many different ways; whether we are reeling from grief, recovering from lockdowns, economic disruption, health issues, or the pressure of a global pandemic and the massive fallout - it’s a lot.

I have been struggling with exhaustion, on and off, and a feeling of heaviness - my usual spark has been elusive, I feel like wading through treacle. A post I wrote on Facebook and Instagram really hit a chord with people - collectively, we are feeling the weight of the recent year and all we have been through.

So, last week I felt the need to step away from the noise, to find some space and to re-connect with myself.

I usually have a social media break at least once a year, and every time I do it I am reminded of the benefits.

This is Day 4 of not scrolling my phone mindlessly, of not feeling reactive and pulled in by articles/ads/comments/memes and ALL THE THINGS…and my mind feels quieter. I have more space in the day. My brain isn’t frazzled.

I have reclaimed my own energy and mental space.

Now, I LOVE social media for so many reasons; I have connected with amazing people through social, I love being connected to friends, family, colleagues, discovering new things, finding recommendations, sharing my voice and adding to the conversation.

But, when I leave my habit unchecked, just like any other, it can take over.

I find myself taking my ‘phone everywhere with me, popping onto IG, Facebook and WhatsApp in between tasks, in spare moments, and soon it becomes an unconscious habit again.

It’s impossible to be part of ALL the conversations, to see everything that’s interesting, to enjoy all the online space has to offer.

Social is never completed. Not is the interwebz.

So, I am back to being conscious and mindful of how I choose to spend my time.

This has already had an impact - I am tracking my time again on Toggl (hat tip to friend, colleague and client Tara Newman for reminding me how important this is).

I am doing one thing at a time, logging and tracking it, and building in mindful downtime.

It turns out I am not brilliant with boundaries, and so I am beginning to add in some more self imposed ones again.

With multiple Slack teams, Asana and Monday boards, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, email, Business WhatsApp and text messages, it’s super easy to spend a whole day in reply ping pong, and not focussing on the task in hand.

Right now I feel clear headed, present, focussed and calm.

I have had a nap today, worked through Katy Henry’s Embody Your Essence Pathways 1 and 2, meditated, had my nails done, checked in with friends, and still had plenty of space for focussed, connected work.

I truly believe in being present and connected when I create content for clients. I also value working cyclically.

After all, part of my magic is being able to see their brilliance and articulate it, and that requires focus and presence.

So, what’s the plan?

I am playing with limiting my social media radically. What that looks like yet, I am not entirely sure of.

I would like to reduce it to one day per week, but I am an admin for the Cambs Bluetits, and at the moment my Connect Your Brilliance group is still on FB. So, I am planning on popping in to those groups mindfully and consciously to check in, and to record my time in there as with any other project.

This means taking the apps off my ‘phone, and when I am online making sure I am really present and mindful in how, where, and how long I spend my time online.

It means really enjoying the times I post and choose to engage on social, and revelling in the oxygen of choosing to be offline in the meantime.

Research shows us clearly that the feeling of false connectedness, FOMO and comparisonitis are rife in mental health issues.

Whilst during lockdowns social media played a part - certainly for me - in feeling part of communities, there is no doubt that when I let my own behaviour slide and go unchecked when it comes to being online, I don’t spend my time and energy mindfully.

”The full story when it comes to online social media use is surely complex. Exposure to the carefully curated images from others’ lives leads to negative self-comparison, and the sheer quantity of social media interaction may detract from more meaningful real-life experiences. What seems quite clear, however, is that online social interactions are no substitute for the real thing.” via Harvard Business Review


Oh, and the fact I am blogging today speaks volumes.

Blogging is my first love of content creation, and whilst I have been mico-blogging on Instagram and Facebook, this type of content creation is different in so many ways.

So, how do you feel about your social media use and connectedness? How does being on social and in constant connection feel to you?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Stay connected with my work and my articles, podcasts and radio show by subscribing to The Human Connection Experience on Substack.